March is Women’s History Month! I’m almost thirty and still very much clueless, but I do know that there are a few things that I, as a Black woman, have picked over the years that I now can’t live without:
A Supportive Group of Female Friends
Girlfriends are one of the most essential assets a woman can possess. As Black women, we are taught to be strong and to stand on our own. But, even we need to be supported at times and the best people to do that are our sister girls. Oftentimes, they are the ones that best know us and what we’re going through. Alice Walker says it best, “Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister.”
A Great Relationship with Your Father or Father-Figure
Get to know your father, biological or surrogate, as a man. Talk to him. Build a friendship of openness and honesty. Ask him questions and seek guidance. Even the most non-communicative or stern father can offer valuable advice. As your father, he may censor himself a bit, but he may in turn prevent you from making some very bad decisions. The more comfortable you are speaking with him, the more comfortable you will be when it comes to expressing yourself to other men.
A Constantly Evolving and Growing Checklist of Dreams
Never stop dreaming. Never stop hustling or reaching. And when you finally grasp it, start reaching for something higher. You were born great. At death you can be infamous. Start your list today. Remember, you can be or have anything you want, all you have to do is have a little faith and take a little action.
A Signature Look
Your look may be prep, urban, or retro. It can be as subtle as the way you part your hair or paint your nails, but it is something that is signature to and representative of you. In a society where conformity reigns, and individuality can get you on “the worst dressed list,” it can be hard to block out the critical voices and just listen to yourself. What makes you look good? And more importantly, what makes you feel good?
A Male Best Friend
He teases you like a brother, protects you like your father and is way more honest than an angry ex-boyfriend. He can be a family friend, a beau turned bro, or your actual brother. No matter who he is or how you met him, he’s essential. He will guide you through your relationship woes, give you great insight into the male mind, move furniture, change light bulbs, etc. when needed.
A Career You Love
Having a career that is both fulfilling, as well as financially rewarding, for many is like a dream for an insomniac - unimaginable. Many of us believe that it’s an either/or situation. For instance, you either love your job, but are grossly underpaid or receive great compensation for your efforts or are too overworked, stressed and exhausted to enjoy the fruits of your labor. This doesn’t have to be the case. And if it is, maybe it’s time for a career change.
A Piece of Clothing That Makes You Feel Sexy
Whether it’s a lacy bra, a sexy pair of pumps or even a classic strand of pearls, every woman wants and needs something that makes her feel sexy, desirable, like a woman. Every woman has sex appeal, whether it’s appreciated or not. Construct your own definition of “sexiness.” Neglect any notions that directly correlate sexiness with a male’s opinion or arousal. It’s about how you feel about yourself.
A Hobby
Hopefully, your hobby can and will turn into a successful career. However, this doesn’t have to be the case. A hobby, whether it’s a craft or a calling, serves as an essential factor in any well-rounded person’s life. So, you say your hobby is watching TV? OK, I can let you slide. But, I will challenge you to look deeper within yourself. What are your dreams? What is the thing or are the things you wish you could be doing but don’t think you have the time to do? Is it singing in a Broadway play? If so, take singing lessons, start performing at local open mic nights or start a blog about your local music scene. It doesn’t matter what you do, do it. Outside the realms of work, family and the stresses of life, we all need an outlet, something we enjoy; something we can escape to.
A Mentor
She’s the woman who has been there, done that. The one that is a good listener and gives the best advice. She’s supportive like a mother, patient like a psychiatrist and loving like a sister. Mentors are essential when it comes to sorting out challenges with your career, finances, relationships, etc. Therefore, you may need several. Reach back into your past and reconnect with the fabulous women (and men) that have crossed your path. You may rediscover a great mentor.
Self-Respect, Love & Efficacy
This is last on the list but by far the most important. Respect yourself and that will in turn teach others how to do the same. Love yourself, more than any man or loyal pet ever could. Efficacy - if you don’t believe you can do it, you won’t do it. And if you don’t do it, you won’t be successful. You are a Black woman… enough said.
source (urbancusp)
